In Honor of Tim's 15th Birthday....

Living with an Aspergers Teen

Tim set up and had me take this pic. I think it looks cool.

I am always on the learning curve, but not to the intensity that he is. He is continually absorbing and processing or rejecting data. He showers me with incredible tidbits of miscellaneous and here before unknown information, and he is fascinated by patterns (in music, in art, in daily life). Music, especially neo-metal, soothes and orders his world. He is seldom seen without headphones. They are semi-permanently attached. Friendships are important as well as drama. On the stage he can pretend to be someone he is not. His worldview is pretty much good versus evil, right versus wrong. It can be a bit black and white, not much gray. Black and white especially in terms of how he thinks the world should operate/function. A crack or rift in this reality severs the nerve endings (especially someone who thinks all things related to the computer should work flawlessly and in the user’s favor). It is inconceivable and blatantly wrong for things to work in opposition to the Aspie's thoughts. Things should work as they are supposed to. Ambiguity is stressful. Wrongs should be righted. Evil should be punished. Truth, as it is seen by this Aspergers teenager, must be spoken and defended. Rights should be protected. This means that he has an incredible sense of justice, but also not a great deal of patience. His thoughts get stuck in a rut and play over and over like a scratched record on an old-style record player. He is merciful and kind and very much wants to learn about the people he likes’ feelings and how to appropriately respond (unless, of course it’s his own brothers, whom he likes, but places in a totally different category all together).

I thought I’d let you see a glimpse of his ideas on Apergers. These are some excerpts from a list we compiled for “You Might Be an Aspie if….”

• Your favorite attire is comfortable jeans and a t-shirt – for school… for PE… for the beach… for sleeping
• You understand and can express the thoughts of your dog better than the thoughts of the girl sitting next to you in class
• You want to know “Why” all the time
• You wear headphones to and from school to block out everything else and spend your time before class circling the basketball goal
• You are intimately familiar with the Marvel Universe
• You prefer to go out in a foreign country where people don’t understand your language than in America where they know what you’re saying
• You’d rather starve than talk to the person at the counter of a fast food restaurant.
• You’d rather go out to your friend’s house and look in his window to see if he’s home than call him on the phone (risking talking to another family member).
  
• You wonder why people aren’t logical.
• You can’t explain your mental math and you certainly wont write it down.
  
• You can create a family tree connecting the Adams family and the Munsters as well as several other families of Gothic villains.
  
• You have very decided opinions.
• You think your classroom smells like a restaurant.
• “I can’t think in this light.” (Environmental distractions are very real.)
  
• You’d rather go out at night than during the day.
• You’d like to revive Victorian clothing because it’s so cool.
  
• You think arguing is a sporting event.
• You like acting because you can actually be somebody else outside of your head.
  
• Your favorite item to hold when thinking is a strong thin wooden stick or sword.

As you can see Tim is an extremely creative and at times thought-provoking writer. He also is a semi-cartoonist, but doesn't have a lot of confidence in his drawings.

He also has a soft heart and curiosity for the underdog, the poor, the unusual. I think this relates to how he feels the world should work and to his identification with them in ways. He has been a challenge and a blessing in our lives that we could never have imagined, and now would feel incomplete and a loss of a great treasure without. I should mention here, he speaks strongly against curing autism. He wants help in areas that he knows are his weaknesses, but also to walk in and be appreciated for his many strengths, especially his unique ways of thinking and seeing the world.

We love you, Tim!
HAPPY 15TH BIRTHDAY!